Guess Who's Crazy?

Here is a story that I just wrote for my sisters English class, she has class after school for two hours. Mind you I am dead tired but it was easy to copy and paste so I did.

A boy named Hardy walked down the Lane one day after school. He was returning from school which he had been at for six hours. Today had been a different day, his first day of school. No longer was he free for the summer. He had to go to school for 43 weeks…. Poor Hardy. So, today had been different because the school had recieved a new teacher. She was the teacher for Hardy’s Second Grade class. She was from another country, he couldn’t remember which but she had a funny accent. If his memory was correct she was from some small country in Europe, Locoland. Locoland was very different and actually crazy.
All the people in Locoland wore their pants on their heads. They also liked to eat ice cream with mayonase. It was all very strange to Hardy but he liked his teacher. She was kind and gave them a lesson in hand balancing. She could be in the circus Hardy thought. Everything that she accomplished was very different. One minute she would be talking to the class with her back turned and the next pointing out the student who had made a face behind her back. After the first instance Hardy tried it for himself, she caught him making a face and as punishment made him learn the national anthem of Locoland. It was all jumbled and didn’t make any sense, but in ten minutes he accomplished learning the first verse. It went something like this:
Oh, ode to Locoland…
My country, so proud and true leaning on a lamppost
Was spied one day by a hermit
He decided it was his and sat atop a mountain
The next thing he knew hermits from all over joined him
Soon they had a song, and it was this…
My country is crazy, my country is mine,
if you dare touch it I’ll break your spine
Nothing you do will change my mind.
But we are peaceful hermits, proud and true,
So please don’t bother us because all we want is peace and love
Hardy was very scared by the songs meaning but his teacher told him that hermits aren’t bad people, they just want to live peacefully hidden in some cave sleeping with the bears. That is why the country is so weird, because it is a country of people who don’t want to relate and always smell very bad. As the teacher described all this to Hardy he realized that she wore rose scented perfume. She explained to the class that she left Locoland because she didn’t like the idea of living in a cave for her whole life. So she jumped on the back of a dragonmouse and hopped across the Atlantic. She said that the problem with dragonmouses’s is that they always want cheese. So they had to stop in France for a giant block of cheese. She said that the dragonmouse burned down the Ifel tower as it tried to find enough cheese to settle its stomache. Ms. Crazy, for that was her name, told the class that probably the class would meet the dragonmouse in a couple of months but right now it was vacationing in Canada.
So all and all the day was quite extraordinary. Hardy now had a new reason to like school. He had a crazy teacher who always brought to class stories of a land far away and very different.